Save Me
by LadyAshh
Summary: Kate and Rick have never met. Five months after 19 year old Kate's mom is killed and her father turns to alcohol, she's not so sure if she wants to continue, but what will Rick Castle do when he sees her on the wrong side of the Triborough Brigde? Warning: Attempted suicide(nothing graphic)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I just want to say that this fic, I wrote mainly because I couldn't get the thought out of my head. This fic contains attempted suicide and by that I mean, standing on the side of the bridge wanting to jump off, but being talked down type of attempted suicide. I am aware many people don't like things like these and that's completely okay, because I'm writing this for me. So if suicide bothers you, please don't read this. If you want to read this, well… Continue, but like I said, doing this one for me.**

* * *

_And she said,_

_"If you were me, you'd do the same_

_'Cause I can't take anymore_

_I'll draw the shades and close the door_

_Everything's not alright and I would rather..."_

* * *

She felt hopeless and lost. She had been wondering around the city for the longest while. It had started to rain and while others around her ran for shelter, not wanting to ruin their clothes or hairstyles or whatever it was they were running from, she remained, walking slowly down the streets as the rain beat down on her. At least this way, no one knew the difference between the tears running down her face and the drops of water that bruised her skin. Not that anyone cared.

She continued walking, not caring as cars passed by splashing her, or as children pointed, asking their guardians why she wasn't running too. Running, she learnt, got you nowhere and one day, it would all just catch up to you, so why run?

She walked until the rain ceased and the sun fought to shine through the bleak clouds that filled the sky. That was her life now, bleak clouds, with spurts of rain, causing everyone to run. She wished she had that ray of sunshine that tried to shine through, that people loved to be around, but she didn't and that's all she was, bleak, heavy clouds.

She didn't realize how much time she had spent walking until she looked up and realized it was evening, the sky was a light purple colour as the sun set and the lights from the city filled the sky. It would be a beautiful sight, if only she believed in beauty. She only believed black and white, there was no beauty in her world.

It had been five months since January 9th, five months of pain, hopelessness and desolation. She lost her mother, for a reason she didn't know, if there was any. Months since the detective met them at their door and told them the news, ruining the rest of their lives, she could still hear the words the detective told them, burning through her memory, a memory she only wished she could forget. She wished this was a nightmare and she would wake up and it would all be a lie and her mother was still here. But it had been months, it wasn't a dream.

It had been four months since she lost her father. He held on for a month, for her maybe, maybe not. A month until he befriended the bottle and never came back. She tried to help him, tried to be there for him like he needed him to be there for her, but he wouldn't give it up, he couldn't. So she did, she gave up. She lost both of her parents over the death of one and she didn't know if she could go on living with this burden.

It was nights like these she dreaded the most, nights that held special meaning, nights that at some point in time she and her family did something special, but now she had no family and there was nothing special. She felt empty and lost, she just wanted someone to hold her and be there for her, rather than to be walking around the streets of New York alone.

She hated this feeling and wondered what could life possibly have in store for her, or would she end up dead too? Figuratively and literally. She had been having thoughts lately, thoughts of ending it, why not? She would think to herself, there really wasn't any reason to continue on like this. It was too much for her on her own and she wanted to leave this tired, hopeless feeling behind. She could see her mother again and everything would be fine. God knows she wasn't fine now.

Maybe she should, there wasn't anyone to tell her not to. This was New York anyways, if anyone saw anything, she was sure they would just continue walking, not wanting to burden themselves with someone else's problems and they shouldn't have to.

She stopped walking and looked up at the sky, wondering where her mother was now. She closed her eyes and exhaled. When she opened them, she realized where she had walked to, the Triborough Bridge. Maybe she should.

* * *

Another book signing, another after party, another scandal of who he was dating, another page 6 headline. He was tired and he just wanted to get home to his Alexis, his five year old who could always put a smile on his face no matter what, she was his world and he couldn't wait to get home to her.

He got into the car and shut his eyes, inhaling deeply, feeling the stress of the day heavy on his shoulders. He wanted to get home and relax in his Jacuzzi and listen to his angel tell him all about her day, but he opened his eyes and realized he may not get to do that in all this traffic. He groaned and covered his face with his hand, frustrated.

"You okay back there sir?" His driver asked.

"Yea, yea, just tired." He responded, looking out the window.

He sat up in his seat when he saw a girl, no older than 19 on the other side of the bridge, barely visible to motorist. He squinted, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things, there was an actual human being on the other side of the bridge and what was she doing. He looked around and saw no one even looking in her direction, immediately he thought of his little girl and ordered his driver to stop.

"Sir?" He asked, confused.

"Call 911, tell them to get here immediately, someone's gonna jump off that bridge." He instructed his driver and got out of the car.

He made his way through the traffic to the edge of the bridge and looked over, sure enough, there was a girl there, holding on loosely, staring down at the water below. He contemplated calling out to her, but didn't want to startle her and have her let go, but then again, he didn't want to wait and have emergency personnel show up too late, so he took the chance.

"Hey." He called quietly.

She looked up at him, her eyes were red and her cheeks stained from tears. She looked like she had been through more than a girl her age should and he felt it for her.

"What are you doing over there?" He asked softly, trying to make her trust him enough to talk and not jump.

"Go away." She mumbled and looked down again.

He heard the sound of sirens in the distance and felt relieved that it they were arriving quickly and maybe this situation wouldn't get out of hand.

"I'll only go away if you come back over here." He said.

"Don't you have a book to go write?" She retorted.

"You know me?" He asked, surprised, maybe he could use this to get her back over.

"You're Richard Castle aren't you?"

"I am."

She didn't respond for a while and simply stared down, loosening her grip on the rails and tightening it again and then loosening it. She looked unsure, she didn't want to do this, he could tell by the way she kept tightening her grip, but there was something she was running from, something she didn't want to live with or face, something that kept her loosening her grip.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"Well, I saw you on the wrong side of the bridge and got a bit worried." He told her honestly.

She looked up at him again, her eyes wide and frightened and he wished he could reach her, he wouldn't hesitate to reach down and pull her over, but he couldn't.

"Why do you care?" She looked back down and loosened her grip.

"Because I have a little girl and I love her very much, in fact I was just going home to her when I saw you and I thought of her and how I would hate for her to be in this situation and no one came to her to help and I figured you must be somebody's little girl, I couldn't just drive away and leave you." He told her.

She tightened her grip.

"You don't want to do this." He said.

"Yes I do."

He felt someone touch his shoulder and he turned to see an entire crew of emergency workers set up behind him, blocking off traffic and news reporters.

"We need you to step away from the rail sir." The man said.

"I'd rather stay." He told the man calmly.

"Do you know her?" He asked.

"No, but – "

"Then it's policy for you to step back behind the yellow line and let us do our jobs here." He told him.

Castle looked down at the girl again as she loosened her grip again and he decided he would comply and not waste time fighting the rules, maybe they could help her in ways he couldn't.

He nodded and stepped back as another man dressed in plain clothes took his place and began talking to her.

He stood behind the yellow line, watching intently, feeling the need to be close to her, to make sure she was okay and he didn't know where this need came from. He took a seat close by the tape and took out his phone, dialling his mother's number.

"Richard, where are you? I've been calling your phone all night." His mother answered.

"Mother, I'm going to need you to watch Alexis for the rest of the night." He got right to the point.

"No problem." She agreed immediately, hearing the serious tone of his voice, "Is everything alright dear?"

He closed his eyes, "I'm on the Triborough Bridge and – "

"Oh yes! That's all over the news. A girl on the side of the bridge, poor kid. Are you stuck in the traffic?"

"No mother, I was helping her, told my driver to call the emergency services, they just came and are dealing with things, I don't know if I'm going to be able to leave now." He told her.

"Oh of course dear, you do what you can, I'll watch Alexis. She's fast asleep anyways." His mother told him.

"Thanks." He sighed.

"Sure thing kiddo, be safe." She told him before he hung up and dropped his face into his hands, worry taking over, worry for a girl he only just met.

He remained by the tape for the next hour, watching the guy talk to the girl over the rail. He didn't even know her name, he thought to himself. He wondered if they were making any progress, but as he saw the same man who told him to clear the area come over to him, he knew they weren't.

"Richard Castle?" He called.

He stood, "Yea?"

"She wants you." He told him.

"Me?" He was surprised, "Why?"

The guy shrugged, "Don't know, she won't talk to our guy, says she'll only talk to you."

He wasted no time and ducked under the tape, practically running back over the her, leaning over the rail and emergency workers strapped him into safety gear and attached a cord to him in case of anything.

"Hey." He said, she looked up and tightened her grip.

He could see the relief wash over her face when she saw him.

"Make the others go away." She told him.

He looked around at the men surrounding him and the wordlessly backed away, not too far in case anything went wrong, but far enough so they weren't crowding her.

"You wanted me?" He asked.

"Your daughter, tell me about her." She requested.

He looked at her confused, why would she be asking about his kid? He questioned it for a moment, but then decided to talk, if this was what kept her from letting go then he'd do it.

"Her name is Alexis, she's five. She has red hair and blue eyes, she got her hair from her mom. She's the smartest, most responsible nine year old you will ever meet. Sometimes she has to parent me." He laughed at the memory of his child scolding him for eating candy before dinner. "She's my everything."

"She sounds great." She said.

"She is." He agreed.

"Tell me something," He spoke, "What's your name?"

She looked up at him, "Katherine Beckett, but everyone just calls me Kate." She told him.

"Kate, that's a pretty name." He smiled.

"Alexis' mom, do you live with her?" She asked, ignoring his compliment and loosening her grip.

What was with her sudden interest in his kid? He wondered to himself.

"No, she uh - she lives in LA." He told her.

"Does she visit?"

"Not as much as she should." He said a little too bitterly.

She looked up at him, "That bothers you?" She asked.

"Not so much for me, but for Alexis. Meredith and I got married after we found out she was pregnant with Alexis, I figured it was the right thing to do at the time. But then when Alexis was born, it just didn't work, she cared more about her career than her own kid, she wasn't fit to be a mother, so we divorced and I got sole custody. Alexis asks about her mom every day and why she doesn't visit. She thinks her mother hates her and that's what bothers me, every child should have their mother."

He could tell he hit a nerve in the way she drew in a breath quickly and leaned a little farther over.

"Do you have a mom?" He asked, sensing that was the issue.

"No." She said quietly.

His face fell and his heart broke, she didn't have a mom, was that why she was here today, staring death in the face? He turned around and looked at the men standing there, waiting to make any move and he made a decision.

He climbed up on the rail and the men rushed forward, but he waved them off, he was strapped and attached to a rope, he was fine.

"What are you doing?" She asked, staring at him incredulously as he came to stand beside her, "Get back over there, what if you fall? You have a daughter!"

"It's okay, I'm safe and yes I have a daughter. So why are you over here? Don't you have anyone?" He asked softly.

She looked away from him as her eyes filled with tears and shook her head.

"Your mother," He started slowly, "What happened to her?"

She drew in a shaky breath and looked back at him, "She was stabbed, five months ago. She was supposed to meet us for dinner at this restaurant, my dad and I stayed there for hours but she didn't show. We figured she'd forgotten and just went home, so we left and –"Her voice broke and she hung her head, her hair forming a curtain around her face.

"There was a detective waiting for us, Detective Raglan, he told us the news, and how they found her stabbed to death in an alley and we still don't know why." She finished, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh Kate, I'm so sorry." He said, wishing he could reach out to her, she looked like she needed a hug. When was the last time she even got one of those.

"What about your dad?" He asked.

She laughed, "My dad, he was devastated, but he was here for at least a month and then he turned to alcohol and I never got him back."

"So you're alone." He concluded and she nodded, fighting to hold back the tears in her eyes. "Is that why you're here?"

She nodded again.

"Kate" He said softly.

"I don't know what else to do." She admitted, "I don't want to feel this way anymore. What do I have to live for? I don't have anyone or anything, there's no reason for me to live." She let one hand go, holding herself up loosely with her other hand.

His heart sped up when she let go and he moved towards her.

"Kate, please hold on." He pleaded with her.

She looked at him and empty look on her face, "Why? What reason do I have?"

"You have plenty to live for, you look young, you have so much left to experience. You have the rest of your family, your friends, your future, you can't just let it go like this Kate. Your mother, think of her, is this what she would want?"

She scoffed at the mention on friends and family.

"If I do this, I'll get to see her, my mom, that's where I want to be." She said, looking down.

He moved closer to her, trying to get close enough to hold on to her.

"No, this isn't what you want Kate, I can see that. You want someone to save you, you want someone to show you that they care Kate and I do, I care and I'm begging you please just don't do this."

She looked up at him, "Why? Why do you care? You don't even know me."

"No, I don't. But I know people Kate and I can see there's more to you that meets the eye and I just know you're going to grow to be someone great, but you'll never know if you just throw your life away like this."

She stared at him for a long moment, before she raised her hand and held on again. He released the breath he had been holding, they were still standing on the edge of a bridge, but at least she was holding on with both hands again.

"Your books," She started.

"What about them?" He asked, just needing to keep her talking.

"They saved me for those months." She told him, "I came to one of your book signings, I doubt you remember me, but your books kept me going. They kept me company in those months when no one else did. You saved me once, before you knew me and here you are again, trying to save me."

"I'm glad I could be there for you before I knew you, maybe it's fate that I'm here right now, to save you again, because I'm not leaving until you are safe on the right side of the bridge." He told her, his voice determined.

"I don't even have anywhere to go." She said.

"You can stay with me if you want to, I'm sure Alexis would be thrilled to meet you." He offered, before he knew what he was saying.

He didn't take it back though, nor did he want to. There was something about Kate that was worth it and he'd be damned if he didn't save her tonight and she could stay with him as long as she needed.

"But you don't know me." She said again.

"I know you need someone Kate, you don't have anyone and I am more than willing to be there if you need me to be."

She looked down and fell silent, before looking back up to him.

"Okay." She agreed.

"Okay?" He asked, relieved.

"You're gonna come off of here and come with me?" He asked.

She nodded, "I really don't want to do this."

"I didn't think you did." He said moving over, carefully to her.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and she let go of the railing and held on to him tightly. He closed his eyes and exhaled, grateful for how this was going, it could have been much worse.

He tugged on the cord attached to him and he felt himself being pulled up over the railing, holding on to her tightly.

They pulled them up over the rail and rushed over to them, rushing her to an ambulance to check her out. Suddenly he felt very tired, the day catching up to him and he just wanted to go home and sleep. He waited until the emergency workers checked her out and released her into his care.

He hailed a cab and gave them directions to his house. She was silent for the ride and so was he, he figured she would speak if she wanted to. The cab pulled up to his place and they got out of the car and made their way through the lobby to the elevator.

He glanced at her, she looked nervous, she had her arms wrapped tightly around her body and had her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hey." He said softly.

She jumped, not expecting him to speak.

"You okay?" He asked.

She stared at the elevator doors as they opened on to his floor, "Not really."

He placed a hand on her back and lead her to his door, opening it and stepping inside, indicating for her to enter. She stepped inside and stood awkwardly, looking around the place.

"Oh Richard! You're home and oh! Who is this?" Martha came down the stairs.

"Mother, can I talk to you for a second?" He requested, gesturing with his head to his office.

"Sure." She said and made her way to the office.

"Please, take a seat, I'll be right back." He told her, showing her the couch.

She nodded and moved slowly to the couch, taking a seat.

He went into his office and shut the door, turning to face his mother.

"That's her." He told her.

"That's who?" She asked confused.

"The girl on the bridge, that's her, Kate." He said, "She didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Oh Richard, you don't need to explain to me, this is your home, just – is it safe to have her around Alexis?" She asked.

"She's not a bad person, she's just … alone. Her mother died and her dad is into alcohol, I can help her mother." He said.

"I know you can Richard, always helping people with that big heart of yours. Okay, well, I'm just gonna head out. Alexis is asleep, I hope she'll be okay." She said.

"Yea, me too." He agreed as he followed her out of his office.

"Goodnight Kate." Martha called out.

"Goodnight." Kate answered.

Castle shut the door and turned to face Kate, who was now standing.

"I'm sorry, I should go, I shouldn't have come here." She said.

"Where are you gonna go?" He asked, stepping closer to her.

"I –I don't know, but I should just get out of your way, you've done enough for me." She said.

"It's no problem Kate, you have nowhere to go and I have an extra bed, good food, let me help you." He said.

She stood staring at him for a while before she threw her arms around him and he responded instantly. Hugging her tightly to his body, he had wondered when the last time she got a proper hug was. She held on to him, burying her face in his chest and she remained there for a good while and he was fine t just hold her and offer her any comfort he could.

"Thank you." She said eventually, "For saving me… again."

"It's no problem." He smiled.

She let him go and stepped back, looking embarrassed.

"Hey," He said, reaching out and making her look up at him, "There's no need to be embarrassed, I love giving out hugs." He said, proving his point as he pulled her in for another hug.

"You should get some sleep, if you want I can cook you something." He offered.

She shook her head, "All I need is a shower and sleep."

He nodded, "I'll show you to the guest room, there's a shower in there and I'll see if I can find you something to wear. While you shower, I'll fix some mac n' cheese, you can't say no to that."

She smiled, "Okay deal."

"Great, come on." He said, leading her up the stairs to the guest room, just happy to have been able to help someone today.

"Hey Castle." She called, he turned to her.

"Yea?"

"Just – thanks for everything, for saving me." She said.

He smiled, "Always."

* * *

_If I were you, I'd put that away_

_See, you're just wasted_

_And thinking 'bout the past again_

_Darling you'll be okay._

* * *

**End A/N: No one is alone.**


	2. Chapter 5

So a lot of you want me to continue this, but in order for me to do that, i have to ask do you want them to develop a romantic relationship or just have rick as kind of her mentor? Just tell me and I'll get to writing...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Majority votes, mentor first, romance later. Thanks for your suggestions and to the guest who asked if I started the fic with no idea how to continue it, I wrote the first chapter with intentions of it being a oneshot, but most reviewers wanted me to continue it. Seeing as it was a oneshot, no I did not have the rest planned out. To the other guest reviewer, I have no idea what FFYG is… And to the others, yea I was never good at the age math, but for the sake of the story, we're keeping Alexis at nine. Okay, that is all…**

* * *

She walked down the stairs after one of the best sleeps she had in a long time. She was hesitant when she spotted Castle in the kitchen, his back turned and his attention focused on the meal he was preparing.

"You gonna stand there all day or you gonna come have some breakfast?" He spoke, his back still turned.

She turned around, looking behind her and back at him, wondering how he knew she was there. He turned and smiled at her, while flipping a pancake.

"Come on, have a seat, I don't bite." He said.

Hesitantly she walked over to the counter, her bare feet making contact with the cold hardwood floors. She eased in to one of the seats and looked around the place, taking in the place in the bright morning light. It wasn't what she expected, but it was warm and it felt homey, it didn't feel impersonal, it felt right.

"You eat chocolate chip pancakes?" He asked, bringing her attention back to him.

"What?"

"Pancakes?…With chocolate chips in them … Do you eat them?" He asked again.

"Oh, yea, thanks." She gave him a smile as he set down a plate in front of her, handing her the bottle of syrup too.

"Coffee?" He asked, holding up a mug.

"Please." She said.

He smiled knowingly and poured her a mug, pushing it over to her. She dropped her fork and picked up the mug, smiling as she felt the hot liquid warm her hands through the ceramic mug. She lifted to her face and inhaled deeply.

"I haven't had good coffee in forever." She smiled, her eyes closed.

"You haven't even tasted it, how do you know it's good?" He asked.

"It smells amazing." She said, taking a sip, "And it tastes even better."

She took another sip, careful not to burn her mouth, before lowering it back to the counter top. She realized he was watching her with a smile on his face.

"Better?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Better." She smiled.

And she was, she woke up this morning feel safe and well rested yes, but there was still that unsure feeling, the feeling of hopelessness and uncertainty. She wasn't sure how she felt about being here, if she should just take her problems and go elsewhere, but now, she felt a bit more relaxed and in no hurry to go anywhere.

"Daddy!" A voice yelled out and before she could turn around, she saw a flash of red barrel right into him, knocking the air out of his lungs.

He swiftly picked her up and peppered her face with kisses, amidst the squeals.

"Alexis, I'd like you to meet someone." He said when they had calmed down, lowering her to the floor.

"Is The Doctor here?" She asked, looking around, her eyes falling to Kate.

Castle looked up in the air, as if thinking then back down to his daughter.

"Doctor Who?" He said.

The girl playfully hit him in his ches and Castle laughed.

"No, unfortunately." He told her, sounding quite disappointed, "But Kate is."

"Hi Kate." The girl said, a bright smile on her face, "I'm Alexis."

Kate couldn't help the bright smile that appeared on her face, she had only just met the girl and she reminded her of herself when she was younger.

"Hi Alexis, it's good to meet you." Kate replied, glancing over to Castle.

"Kate's gonna be here for a while, she's been having some problems, so we're gonna be extra nice to Kate okay?" He told her, his eyes still on Kate.

Alexis turned to her father, "What kind of problems?"

"Big girl problems." Was all he told her and Kate was grateful.

Everyone who watched the news knew about her, she didn't need the sympathy from the people she was staying with. Although she wouldn't be sure if the people who saw her on the news care for the sake of caring or care just because it was on the news and they feel obligated to. She didn't want to be anyone's obligation.

Alexis nodded and turned back to Kate, her blue eyes sparkling and a wide smile on her face, "Well Kate, I hope you solve your big girl problems and you can stay here as long as you like and –" She leaned closer to Kate and whispered, "Don't let him feed you a s'morelett."

She laughed, looking to Castle who looked like he had a protest on the tip of his tongue.

"What's a s'morelett?" She asked.

"Culinary genius." He grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

"More like culinary grossness. It's chocolate and marshmallows inside an omelette." She informed her.

Kate looked up to Castle, "What would possess anyone to make that?"

"Don't knock it 'til you try it." He mumbled, stuffing his face with his own pancakes.

Alexis rolled her eyes and shared her own pancakes on a plate and sat down beside Kate and they all ate their breakfast, sharing small talk in between.

"Good morning loves!" Martha breezed in to the loft, "Now I can't stay and chat, I'm just here to pick up Alexis."

Martha greeted all three of them with a side hug and poured herself a cup of coffee while Alexis ran upstairs for her bag.

"So Kate dear," Martha spoke to her, her voice carrying some seriousness, "How are you?"

Kate appreciated the question, no one had asked her that in a while and she could feel herself slightly tearing up.

"I'm fine." She managed to say.

Martha nodded, not wanting to drag it out if Kate did not want to talk, but Castle' eyes remained trained on her, full of concern.

Alexis came rushing back down the stairs and grabbing onto her grandmother's hand.

"Come on! Let's go!" She said, pulling her towards the door.

"No one in this family has ever been this excited to go to school before, I don't know where she gets it from." Martha waved her hand.

"Learning is good! Let's go!" Alexis prodded.

"Okay okay, come on." Martha helped her put on her jacket and ushered her out the door.

"See you later darlings!" She waved them goodbye as she closed the door.

Suddenly Kate felt nervous, now that they were alone with no distractions, she knew the questions were coming.

"Kate." His voice called her softly.

His voice carried such a tenderness she had never experienced again since after she took her tonsils out and her mom took time off work to stay with her and she teared up once again just thinking about it.

"Kate," He called again, covering her hand with his own until she turned her head to look at him.

"How are you really?" He asked.

She looked down, tears rolling over her cheeks, "I'm – "she took a breath, "I'm okay."

"You're not." He answered.

She looked back up at him, surprised he hadn't let it go. Most people never want to hear about people's problems and back off when they say they're okay, but clearly, he wasn't the type to back off.

She shrugged and gave him a tearful smile, "I don't know." She whispered.

"You don't know?" He asked, taking her hand in his.

"I just – I miss my mom." She admitted, "I miss my dad. I miss the way things used to be."

He nodded, "I can't imagine how it must feel to lose both parents, I'm sorry." He said.

"But Kate you can't go on like this, you know that."

She nodded, "I don't – I don't know what to do." She looked up at him, searching for some answer.

"You talk to someone about it and you tell yourself you're going to be okay." He told her.

"Who am I supposed to talk to? Everyone is gone." She sobbed.

"You can talk to me," He told her, "Or I can get you a therapist."

"I couldn't ask that of you." She said quietly.

"If it will help you Kate, I'll do it, I hate to see people in pain." He said, running a hand up and down her back soothingly.

She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face, "Thanks."

"I'm not going to push you, you take it one step at a time. Tell me what you need okay?" He said, standing up, releasing her hand.

She had to admit, she loved the connection and was disappointed when he broke their contact and moved away.

She stood with him and gestured to him awkwardly, "Can I -?"

He looked confused momentarily, before he realized what she was asking for and then he smiled warmly.

"Of course." He said, pulling her against him, wrapping his arms around her.

She leaned into him, burying her face against his chest and cried, her body began shaking violently with her sobs, tears she had been holding in for the longest while. She fisted her hands in his shirt and he held her tighter, resting his chin on her head, letting her cry, content to provide the comfort he knew she needed right now.

When her crying quieted, she pulled back, smoothing down his shirt, "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." She moved away, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Don't be. If you need a shoulder or –"he gestured to his chest, "A shirt to cry on, you can always call on me."

She smiled, "I used to have a therapist." She told him, surprised she's offering up something without being prodded.

"Yea? What happened?" He asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know, it just didn't work. I stopped going."

"Maybe because you weren't willing to let yourself be helped." He told her.

"Maybe."

"Would you go back?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"I mean, you don't have to, but maybe it will help." He told her.

"I could try, but I make no promises to stay." She said.

"Try. That's all I ask."

"Okay."

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked, changing the mood.

She wiped at her face again, "I don't know, don't you have a book to write?"

"That question again?" He smirked, "I like to play this game called, how long can I put off writing until my publisher grows horns."

She laughed at that and man it felt good to laugh, to actually laugh out loud and he was staring at her, in a way that kind of made her heart flutter.

"Well then, what do you have in mind?" She asked.

His face lit up and his eye carried a mischievous glint.

"Have you ever played laser tag?"

* * *

**End A/N: Review? Thanks **


	4. Chapter 4

She should have known that the luxury of a full night of sleep didn't belong to her. After hours of playing a very intense game of laser tag with Castle, he had excused himself to go to a meeting, just as Martha and Alexis came through the door. Martha stayed for a while, chattering on about their day and her work at the theatre, before she too excused herself.

She was left with Alexis for how long, she didn't know. It didn't take long for her to completely warm up to Alexis, she was young, but she was wise, Kate could see a bright future for her. At around eight, when he still hadn't returned, Kate ventured into the kitchen, searching for something to cook, it was the least she could do after he basically took her in to his home.

With the help of Alexis, she prepared lasagna, with extra cheese (He liked it that way Alexis had told her), which they ate together while watching Tv. Another hour had passed and Alexis was knocked out in Kate's lap. She took the dish from Alexis and placed in on the table in front of her, before settling back into the couch, running her hands through Alexis' long hair. She found comfort in this, in watching this girl sleep, they steady rise and fall of her chest, the way her hair felt as she ran her hands through it, the way Alexis would snuggle closer every now and then. It reminded her of her mother and when she was young, there were many nights that had Kate in the same position as Alexis, as her mother gently played in her hair, sending her off to sleep.

She reached up and wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes away, before they could fall and wake Alexis. She felt the familiar feel of the lump in her throat and her eyes stung. She looked down at Alexis, sleeping peacefully, silently wishing for a life as simple as hers. She may not have a mother around, but at least she could see her every now and then, hear her voice if she needed, Kate didn't have that option, but she so desperately wanted it.

Thankfully, she was brought out of her thoughts by the door opening.

"Hey." She heard Castle call out as he closed the door behind him.

She cleared her throat, "Hi." She answered softly, still stroking Alexis' hair.

He moved over to the couch, sitting on the opposite side of her, watching as Alexis moved closer to Kate with a small smile on his face.

"Sorry I took so long, we had some … issues." He told her.

She shrugged, "It's fine, Alexis kept my company. There's some lasagna in the oven for you."

His eyes lit up at that, "Extra cheese?"

She nodded and couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped her lips at his excitement, "Extra cheese."

He stood moving towards the kitchen, but then he turned back to her, "Let me take her to bed."

She shook her head, she was tired too, "It's okay, I'm going to turn in too, I'll just carry her." She said, lifting Alexis as she stood.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yea, eat, we'll be fine. Goodnight Castle." She gave him a small smile and climbed the stairs. She dropped off Alexis in her room, knowing her father would be up to tuck her in and everything, before she made her way to his guest room.

She pulled off her clothes and headed to the bathroom, turning on the hot water and stepping in. She was too tired to actually enjoy the heat of the water as it soothed her, too tired to even stand up for so long, so she shut off the shower and stepped out. She dried herself and pulled on her underwear and a large T-Shirt before crawling into bed and instantly she was asleep.

She woke up only three hours later and couldn't get back to sleep. It was often these late hours that her thoughts caught up with her, the same thoughts that had her standing on the wrong side of the bridge before he came to save her.

She felt suffocated, crushed by feelings of despair and hopelessness and wondered if this was going to be her life now, consumed by these feelings, holding her back from living her life. She brought her hands up to her face, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to stop the tears. She rolled over on to her stomach, pressing her face into the pillows, unable to stop the tears that flowed from her.

She tried to keep quiet, not wanting to wake Alexis and bring curious Castle up the stairs. She balled her hands into fists, bringing her knees up to her chest, holding herself as she cried. Her mother was all she could see behind her lids, her mother's smiling face, she could hear her laughing somewhere in her mind, but then the scene changed and she was laying there, on the ground, dead and now that's all she wanted to be.

She threw the covers off her body and got out of the bed, it was too hot, too suffocating, she needed something, but she didn't know what. She didn't want to give in to these feelings again, she had to distract herself from it all. She walked quietly down the stairs, spotting a light shining from under the door of Castle's office. It was 3 in the morning and she shouldn't, but she didn't know what else to do at this point and in the short time he had been around her, he made her feel better, if not forget, for a while.

She walked up to the door and raised her hand to knock, but before he could, the door swung open and Castle was standing there. He was still in the same clothes from earlier, except his button down shirt was now unbuttoned, revealing a black undershirt that clung to his chest, his sleeves were rolled up and his hair was a mess as if he'd ran his hands through it a thousand times.

She shook her head, trying to clear her head, this is not what she came to him for, to have her mind going off into thoughts she shouldn't be having.

"Kate?" He tilted his head to the side, not looking so surprised to see her.

She looked up at him, feeling comforted already by the warm blue of his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

"I couldn't sleep." She told him.

He nodded and stepped back into his office, gesturing for her to come in. She stepped inside, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" He asked softly, closing the door and leading her over to his couch, pulling her down with him.

She shrugged, "I was asleep, but then, I started to feel … I don't know, I just." She stopped, taking a deep breath, "I miss her."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, quickly, he pulled back and studied her face, before sitting back.

"Talk to me Kate." He said.

She looked at him confused, "What?"

"Talk to me, about her, about you, your family." He told her.

She looked down at her hands and back up to his patient face, "My mom was a lawyer," She started, "She was working this case she seemed to be very excited about for some reason, we didn't see her as much the last few days. She made plans for us to meet at dinner one night, to make up for lost time, me, my dad and her. So me and my dad, we got to the restaurant and waited, I could tell my dad was getting worried when an hour passed and she didn't show, but he wouldn't let on. We figured she probably forgot and went home, she we left." She paused, looking at him.

He was watching her intently, but not in a way that made her feel nervous or intimidated, she knew he cared and he wanted to hear what she had to say, so she continued.

"There was a detective waiting for us and told us the news. It was hell after that. My dad he was okay for a month, because we were around the rest of our family, but then they left and he just lost it. I'd come home and find him passed out or locked away in his room. I tried to help, but he wouldn't listen to me and then it became too much, so I left." She finished.

She felt the tears come up again as he took her hand in his.

"What about you?" He asked softly.

"What about me?" She stared out the window, not wanting to face him at this moment.

"What were you like before? What led you here?"

"I was at Stanford, Pre-law. But then, everything just became too hard, too much. I couldn't focus, I couldn't function, I drove all my friends away, I never went back, I couldn't. Once I came home, I couldn't bear to leave." She told him, her voice barely above a whisper, "I just, I don't know what to do now."

He remained silent for a while as she leaned against him, seeking out his comfort. His heart broke for her, he didn't know what to do in this position, he didn't know how to handle this. So he just listen to her and held her, gave her the comfort she needed. He could make an appointment for a therapist in the morning, maybe they could help, but only if she agreed. He just wanted to help her, couldn't bear to see her this torn up and broken. She had a beautiful smile and laugh and he would do anything to see it and hear it.

"It'll get better Kate, maybe not now, but it will get better. Your mom would want that for you, I'll do anything to help you. I'm not sure what to do, but I'll do what you want me to. I'll be here for you any time you need okay?" He said finally.

He felt her nod against his chest, "I just needed the company." She mumbled.

He fell silent again, her words running through his head. This was a situation she shouldn't be going through on her own and as much as he was willing to help, he thought about her father. Having him in her life might make things easier, she wouldn't have the burden of losing both parents. Maybe he could help in this way, doing something to get her father back on the right track. Tomorrow he would find out where he lived and maybe pay him a visit, but now as he felt Kate getting heavier and heavier, he would just stay where he was.

He slid her down in the couch so her body was stretched out with her head in his lap. He hoped this time she would stay sleeping. He ran his fingers through her hair as he usually does with Alexis when she fell asleep in his lap, as she saw Kate doing with Alexis earlier.

He smiled as he remembered the image he walked in on. He had been worried about Alexis and Kate, but Kate seemed to be a good person and Alexis was ready to accept any and everybody, he could see a bond forming between them and he just hoped he could help Kate enough for her to stick around long enough to experience that bond.

**End A/N: I apologize for any errors.**


	5. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I realized I hadn't mentioned Castle taking her out to buy clothes and stuff, I thought I had, writing all these different stories I get confused as to what I put in there so sorry about that, but since a little time has already passed, let's just pretend they went out and bought some clothes during this "a few weeks" that I skipped in the beginning of the chapter? And as for Alexis' age, it doesn't really matter how old she is for this story, I just don't know the math for the whole Castle/Beckett/Alexis age thing, so if it actually bothers any of you, tell me and I'll change it.**

* * *

A few weeks had passed since their late night talk and the only thing that was on his mind – apart from Kate herself of course - was her father. She told him he fell victim to alcohol the month after her mom died, leaving her without both parents. It actually hurt him to know that she had lost both parents over the death of one, leaving her so alone and desperate.

He thought about this for weeks, wondering just how she would react to it. Would she refuse? Would she hate him? Would she move out? Would it take her a step backwards? He didn't know, but he knew that if it was Alexis in Kate's place, he'd want this, although he would never imagine leaving his little girl like that, no matter what.

He wondered if it was normal to be slightly angry at the man who had abandoned Kate like that, he knew it hurt her more than she would tell him, then again there was so much more she wasn't telling him, he knew that and he wouldn't push, that was up to her.

He decided that this would be a good thing for her, whether she thought so or not and he hated to see her so lonely and dejected.

He told her they were going for a drive and she had asked where, but he wouldn't tell her. He found out where the man resided from some of his connections and drove slowly, watching Kate out of the corner of his eyes.

Her face remained blank for most of the ride, but then when he turned on a particular street, she tensed and he braced himself for whatever reaction she was about to have. Her hands gripped the seat tightly and she leaned forward as much as her seatbelt would allow, eyes widening with each house they passed.

He kept driving, turning on to another street and then she slowly turned to him. Her eyes were wide and she looked at him in disbelief.

"You didn't." She began quietly.

"You need this." He responded, without taking his eyes off the road.

"I really don't." She answered.

He was just happy she wasn't yelling… yet.

"When was the last time you saw him?" He asked, glancing over to her.

She had sat back in her seat, had her arms folded across her chest, glaring out the window.

"I don't know. Turn around." She mumbled.

"No." He answered simply.

She looked at him, "No?"

He shook his head, "No Kate, he may have abandoned you and believe me even I'm upset about that, but you can't, you can't give up on family."

Her mouth dropped open, "I can't – I can't give up on family? What about him? He gave up on me!" She yelled.

Now she was yelling, yelling was good … sometimes.

He stopped the car and turned to her, reaching out to her, but she yanked her arm away.

"Listen Kate, I know he hurt you when you needed him the most, I know you probably hate him and will probably hate me for this. Give it one more try? Make him see how much you need him, convince him to get clean, anything, one more time." He reasoned.

She hesitantly turned to him, chewing the inside of her cheek, "I don't hate you."

"So you'll do it?" He asked.

She was quiet for a moment and glared out the windshield, before she turned to him, "Fine. But I doubt anything will change."

He smiled, starting up the car and pulled away from the curb, "Just know, you don't have to do it alone. I can come in with you." He offered.

"It'd probably be best, keep me from committing murder." She said bitterly.

He kept quiet for the rest of the ride and so did she until he pulled up to their destination. She looked out the window at the house, glared at it rather. He didn't say anything, waiting to see what she would do. Finally, she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, he smiled as he followed and rounded the car to meet her on the other side.

She didn't move, until he place a hand on the small of her back, then she shuffled slowly to the door, letting Castle ring the bell.

There was no response, so he tried again and still nothing. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, turning away.

"He's probably passed out, drunk."

Castle was about to ring the bell one last time when the door suddenly opened. Castle made eye contact with the man, looking like he was in his late forties, early fifties. He was dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a plain white shirt, Castle could practically smell the alcohol on his breath.

The man squinted at him, cocking his head to the side, "Who are you?" He slurred.

"I'm uh – I'm Richard Castle." He responded, not bothering to extend his hand for any welcome.

"The writer?" The man's eyes opened more, assessing Castle.

"Yes dad, the writer, I'm surprised you can even remember that." Kate spoke up from beside him, he could hear the anger in her voice and seriously began to wonder if this might have been a good idea.

He watched the man's eyes move from him, slowly over to where Kate was standing and he stepped forward.

"Katie?" He spoke, looking surprised.

"Don't call me that." She spat.

"Where have you been?" He continued.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Trying to survive."

He looked at her for a moment, looking pained before he stepped aside, "Come in."

Kate shook her head, but when Castle nudged her gently she looked up at him, she sighed and stepped in past her father. Castle followed, as Jim locked the door behind them and turned to them.

Castle noted that it was a nice house, small and messy and wreaked of alcohol though, but it was nice. He turned to Kate who was staring down at her feet.

"So, how have you been?" Her father spoke and she looked up.

Castle could see the anger in her eyes, feel it radiating off of her and stepped closer to her, just in case of anything.

"What do you care? You don't give a crap about me." She said, her voice sounding controlled.

Jim stepped forward and Kate stepped back, "Honey you know that's not true, you know I love you." He said slowly, the alcohol slowing his speech.

Kate laughed dryly, "You love me? Ever since mom died it's like you forgot about me! You drowned yourself in your own pain, drowned yourself in alcohol and left me! I needed you, but you didn't care! Is that what you call love? Because I don't want any of it." She was shaking now, her hands clenched at her sides.

"Katie, I'm sorry." He tried again, ignoring Castle's presence.

"I told you not to call me that. And no, you're not, it's been months dad, I tried and I tried to get you to leave the alcohol, to get clean and we could be there for each other like it should have been, but you just shut me out!" She began pacing the room, Jim and Castle both watching her.

Jim turned to Castle, his eyes opening as if just seeing him, "And who are you to her?" He asked, despite the alcohol, he sounded slightly angry.

"He, is the one person who cared enough to save me. The only person who stopped me from jumping off a bridge dad and if I did, you probably wouldn't even know, you'd be too drunk, if you'd even care. So don't talk to him like that." She growled.

Jim reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder, she eyed it, but didn't move.

"You tried to kill yourself? Why?" He asked.

"Because it's so different from what you're doing now?" She questioned, "What you've been doing for months?"

"I tried Kate, I tried, I just can't – "He began, moving backwards when he finally realized how angry she was.

She shook her head, "You know what dad? I just – "She paused, shutting her eyes, "I don't care. Do what you want, but don't expect to hear from me again."

She turned and walked down the hall, "Where are you going?" Both Jim and Castle yelled after her. Jim turned to glare at Castle, but didn't say anything.

He couldn't help the anger that rose within him, he could never do this to Alexis, not in a million years. He could never drink himself so drunk to forget her, could never not be there when she needed him, couldn't even not be there when she didn't need him. She was his little girl and he'd moved Heaven and Earth for her.

He didn't have time to dwell on those thoughts as Kate emerged pulling a large suitcase behind her.

"Where are you going?" Her father demanded.

She stopped beside Castle and looked at her father, "To stay with someone who actually cares about me." She looked up to Castle then, giving him a small smile and he smiled back. He had to admit, he was proud of her and now staring into those hazel eyes, he was a little something else too and developed the urge to pull her into his arms and give her a tight hug. But he didn't.

"I care about you!" Her father yelled, breaking the two of them out of their thoughts.

She grabbed Castle's hand, "If you cared about me, you would have stopped drinking." She began walking, pulling Castle and the suitcase with her to the door, which he opened for her.

She stepped outside and walked right to the car, not turning back to look at her father who was watching helplessly from his door.

Castle opened her door for her and took her suitcase from her, placing it in the trunk before getting into the car himself.

He didn't stop to talk, just started the car and pulled away, driving out of the neighbourhood, still watching Kate. She was tense and stiff and he knew she would break eventually, but when.

They didn't talk on their way back to the loft, he parked the car and unloaded her luggage and pulled it over to the elevator which she had already boarded.

They walked down the hall to his door and he opened it, letting Kate enter first and then pulled her suitcase in. He didn't want to leave her to lug it up the stairs, so he left it in the living room.

He turned to face her, she was standing in the middle of the living room, just staring blankly, looking lost. He carefully stepped over to her and pried her trembling hands from her chest.

"Kate," He said softly.

She didn't look at him, she just collapsed against his chest and he felt her body begin to shake. She was silent though, crying until the tears ran out. He held her, running his hands up and down her back, every now and then pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

This crying/comforting thing had turned out to be a regular thing now, not that he minded. He was just glad she was opening up, not hiding herself away and letting him know these things about her. He considered it progress. There was still a way to go for her, until she got that hollow look out of her eyes, until she stopped waking up in tears, until she felt like her life had no point and if she would let him, he wanted to help her through it all.

She had become important to him and he hated to see her hurt, he just wanted to keep her in his arms forever if needs be, but she was pulled away, with a small smile on her face.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She whispered.

"The tears or you yelling at your dad?" He asked.

"Both?"

He smiled, "Don't be, I'm here to help."

She only smiled and stepped away from him and he let his arms fall to his sides, immediately missing her warmth and being wrapped around her.

"So," He cleared his throat, before his thoughts continued on the path he knew it was on, "Dinner?"

She nodded, "Sure and – "She stepped into him again, hugging him, "Thanks."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Always."

* * *

That night, she woke to a small voice calling out her name. She opened her eyes - they felt wet, like she had been crying. She touched her face with her hand and realized she had been, she had been having another bad dream, but she had never actually cried in her sleep before.

The voice called again and she sat up to see Alexis sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her with concern.

"Alexis? What are you up? Is everything okay?" She asked, pulling the girl to her.

In the few weeks that had passed, she and Alexis and become incredibly close and Kate was more than happy to spend hours reading or watching TV or just talking with her, she was very smart for her age.

"You were talking in your sleep." She told her, wrapping her arms around Kate's middle.

"I was?" Kate asked.

She nodded, "You sounded scared."

Kate smiled and wiped at her tears, "So you came to check on me?"

"When I'm scared, my dad lets me sleep with him, so I figured you could use the company." She explained, pulling back as she yawned.

"I'd love the company Alexis." Kate smiled, allowing the girl to get herself under the covers and then she was snuggling close to Kate.

"Goodnight Kate." She mumbled and within minutes, she was asleep again.

Kate stayed awake for a bit longer, running her fingers through the girl's hair.

She was so thankful for the people finding their way into her life, if she didn't have her father, well at least she had Castle and his daughter and even sometimes Martha.

Castle.

She smiled at the thought of him, she had begun feeling a little too attached to him, finding any excuse for contact, no matter how small. She was addicted to that feeling in her stomach when he brushed passed her, or when he was smiling at her or even when she would catch him staring at her.

There was something there, she knew it, but right now, she needed to sleep. The future would sort itself out.


End file.
